Showing posts with label #regretsinlife. Show all posts

Dear Me.

Here's a reminder post for your future self, just in case. Life's been hectic but that's okay, it's a good sign. However, sometimes we tend to forget who we are, where we come from, why we decided to take this road not taken, and what do we want.

Everything happens for a reason. Don't be hard on yourself when things don't turn out the way you want. It is the lows in life that toughens you. Remember that arrow goes forward only after pulling in backward; bullet goes forward only after pressing the trigger backward. However, regardless of how bad things are, do not submit into self-pity. Remember to fight back and show the world your worth.

Stay humble. Do believe that change is the law of life and life is like a ride of Ferris wheel. We don't stay in our downfalls forever and likewise we don't stay at the top of the world for long. Whatever it is, do remember to stay humble with your achievements and help others see their worth and be successful as well. I want you to remember that being successful with your peers beats being successful alone.

Be thankful and grateful. Don't forget those who have helped you in time of need. The best gratitude you can show to them is to pass on their kindness to another person. Don't be clouded with material abundance, they are not as fulfilling.

Love your family and live life with no regret. We tend to always make time for friends and bf. What about your beloved family who has stood by you regardless of what happens? Don't ever forget to make time for them. I don't want you to live life with regrets. Learn from mistakes, remember them and make changes! Everyone's life is shortened with every breath they take. We never know when is the end of our life journey. So, treasure them while you can! Do the things you want to do, say the things you want to say. Continue living life to the fullest, you've been doing it well thus far.

Don't forget to leave an impact. Always remember your life goal - to make an impact in one's life. You are on the right track and you're doing it well. Continue spreading your vibes!

Be honest. Honesty has always been your first priority. Don't be a hypocrite. Always remember that mama told you - what you want, you first give. If you wish for honesty from others, you should do the same to others. Being honest can be hard, but I know you are good at it. Your dishonesty doesn't only hurt others, you are hurting yourself more. So, please, always remember this - be honest to everyone - including your family and bf.

Take time off. Don't forget to take time off to see the world. It is the best way to recharge yourself and remind yourself on what you are doing is what you want. Don't forget SA, CN, VN and other third world countries. If you ever forget what this is, go, go travel to these places. The plight of others will remind you.

Most importantly, I want you to stay as a power couple. Continue to be an inspiration to others. It makes life easier when you have someone thinking, working and aiming for the same goal. Continue to motivate each other and push each other to greater height. But, don't overwork and overlook each other. Remember to take time off to nurture your love. Learn from each other, accept and embrace the differences.

Lastly, do stay grounded!

Counting my blessings

And so history repeats again. But this time, at least I managed to find out the reason behind all these heartbreaks. I have never thought that life could be so complicated. 

The past 6 months have been a roller coaster ride and am counting my blessings for those who have stood by me. After months of tears shedding, head cracking and countless sleepless nights, I am glad  that I have found the answers to my questions and solutions to my problems. 

One thing for sure that I have learned from these disastrous past months is that, you can fool the world but you can never fool yourself. Well, I thought I could. I thought my life was well-controlled. I thought I knew what I wanted and how to achieve the things that I want. I thought I was smart. Maybe I am but just not in the love playing field. If only there is a "101 Guide to Love". Perhaps Mr. B is right - there's no right or wrong; it's just how different people react. Having said that, guilt still fills me. A lot. 

To those broken hearts,
I am sorry - I hope we have at least learned one or two things from each other;
I am sorry - for not honouring our promises;
I am sorry - for all the damages that I have done.

To the man with patience,
Thank you - for the 6 years and standing by me 24/7;
Thank you - for having faith in us;
Thank you - for all that you have done.

I thought such thing only exists in the movies. It's funny how I looked so far for the one thing and yet it is actually right beside me. Thank you universe, for all the life surprises you brought me. I promise to be appreciative and keep counting my blessings!

Come what may.

Someone once told me, the only thing that is permanent in this universe is change - so true. The most drastic change for me would be that, I made a life-changing decision to change career (totally unrelated career with what I was doing). No more endless overtime, taking unreasonable orders from the seniors, dealing with weird clients and etc. 

I would say it is quite a bold decision which shocked quite a number of the people whom I have spoken to, which include me, myself. But this decision was made after countless of sleepless nights, tears shedding and even many more head-cracking months. I have weighed the pros and cons as well as consider the options available. 

My dad always tells me that, the outside world is your oyster, waiting for you to explore. And I guess I should explore the outside world while I am still young and commitment-free. I mean what is the worst that could happen if I realised later on that, this is a wrong decision? In case you don't already know, I was from audit and am venturing into education. So, let's talk about how did I decide to go into education.

For those who know me, I have had 5 years of teaching experience prior to joining audit. Many told me that, it is not easy to endure the life of an auditor as there will be countless of overtime to go through and tight deadlines to meet. And, that is one of the reasons why I took up audit - I wanted to take the challenge and see how far I can go and how "strong" I am. Besides, audit promises to give me a great range of exposure and I did not know what I wanted to do back then. So, why not?

I told myself to go through a maximum of 4 years torture and at the same time, I have a mission for myself - to find out my passion - what do I really want to do for the rest of my life? Probably I would like audit? I didn't know what was ahead of me. I am the kind of person, whereby if you throw me lemons, I would make lemonade out of it. But I really want to find my passion and live the life I wanted instead of just following the flow.

I enjoy teaching people about things they don't know. Perhaps it's the superiority in me? I don't know. But what I know for sure is that, it gives me a great sense of self-fulfillment. Very often when someone is teaching in front of me - be it at work or in class, I would think about how I would adopt the approach or how I would improve the person's method of teaching. As time goes by, the urge for me to switch career becomes stronger and I realised that, probably teaching is my passion. 

But, I wasn't sure and did not dare to take the leap until one fine day, my ex-boss contacted me. I started giving it a serious thought - do I really want to teach? Could it be novelty? I guess life is a gamble and if everything in life is certainty, then it wouldn't be fun living anymore; as we would know what will happen next and when is our destiny. 

A trip down to Philippines made me realised that I really do have a strong urge in teaching. I saw so many homeless children roaming and sleeping on the street. A strong sympathy grew in me. They don't deserve those kind of life. I truly believe that education is the key out of poverty - if only they were offered proper education and guidance. The same back in our home country. Many were being discounted for the poor command in English - if only I could help. It is also from then on that I found my long-term career goal - to help those underprivileged.

I am not sure what God has in mind for me;
I am not sure what the future lies - is it good or is it bad?
But I want to take this leap - 
And even if I fall, I have no regrets in life.
Come what may! 

Message from beyond the grave

It has already been one year and four months; yet you will never be forgotten.

You came and visited me again last night and it was so surreal. You haven't changed the slightest, you were still the same loving old you, except happier and healthier. It was like the old times where brother and I came and visit you, talking nonsense over your favourite snack.

I thought I have gone through the whole grieving process but a slight mention about you or the dreams I had about you could send me tearing non-stop for one whole hour. My eyes hurt from all the tearing and my head hurts from reminiscing all the times we had.

Truth be told, I don't mind tearing every time I think or dream of you. I guess this is the only way to show you how much I miss you. Or is this just a way to punish myself for not being good enough to you when you are still around? 

Nonetheless, I miss you dearly, I really do.
You will always be in my mind.

24.02.2013

I used to remind myself to not live life with regrets, to appreciate everyone around me and everything I have. Well, I thought I was doing well all along until I lost someone dear to me about a year ago. Her departure is a big wake up call to me and I am just a hypocrite. I never actually practice what I preach.

This blog post serves as a reminder to appreciate your loved ones before it's too late. 
I learnt through the hard way. 
You don't have to.

I was raised by her since I come to this world and she has played a big role in my childhood. Apart from my parents, she is the only one who has always loved me unconditionally, support me unreasonably and has never failed to be there for me whenever I needed her.

Perhaps it was her old age - I was her priority;
and perhaps I thought time was abundant - I treat her as an option.
I know, I am an ass.

Life is unfair and has always been so.

It hurts to know that great people around me has to suffer through life and enjoyment is a luxury which they never get to experience.

Is this what karma is like? If it is, karma is really a bitch!
Or perhaps "karma" is just a reason I used to comfort myself for not pampering them enough in this life? On a brighter note, it may be a good idea that this bumpy road has come to an end. I wish you and you a great next life!

If you happen to stumble onto my humble blog, please remember that,

Time is limited - our life is shorten with every breath we take;
Never take "today" for granted - to some, tomorrow may never come.

If you love someone, show it - action speaks louder than words;

If you want to do something, do it now - for tomorrow you may lose the courage to do so;
And to never treat those who prioritise you as an option 
- you are significant in their lives.

I love you, and will always be.